How can I survive relationships? | Settled down or still playing the field?

From our 'How can I survive special': Both of them are active members (past and present) of Eindhoven's student scene, have had their fair share of life's headaches and dick pics. Britte Bouchaut (28, graduating student of Innovation Sciences; in an 18-month relationship and not cohabiting) and Alain Starke (27, PhD candidate of Human-Technology Interaction; in an eight-year relationship and cohabiting) discuss love and romance at TU/e like two old fogeys. From long-distance relationships to kissing networks: How can you survive student romance? Alain and Britte give tips, ask others for advice, and take a critical look at each other's views. Are Eindhoven’s drinks rife with date-making, or do dicks take a backseat in Eindhoven?

How can I survive this article?

Alain (27): Is it me, or at our age are we just too boring to talk about this?
Britte (28): Yes, that's just you. 27 isn't boring at all, but if anyone has bought a one-way ticket to domestic bliss, you have.
A: Well, it won't be long before your boat to domesticity sails either.
B: I am still in the denial phase, Alain (...) Your boat couldn't set off quickly enough. After eight years in a relationship you are a real expert when it comes to slow-burning student romance! A real homebody!
A: No way am I any kind of expert after an eight-year relationship. I don't know what I would do if I was ever dumped. At a conference party once, a guy wanted me to be his wingman, but I waddled around after him like a clueless penguin with a pair of ‘happy feet’.
B: So, what you should do is request Angels by Robbie Williams, and do a ‘Have you met Ted?’.
A: And then dance at two arm's lengths from each other, like in your first year of high school?
B: Exactly, and then put your tongues down each other's throats, right there on the dance floor. Really embarrassing.
A: Dear reader, it turns out we are experts in adolescent love.

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